I am waaay behind on posting updates. I also owe you guys the fourth installment in my relationship series. And I have an entire novel to edit/rewrite (and probably cry over), but I’m not about to tackle these last two things without coffee.
I have gone 24 days without coffee.
I miss coffee.
Sigh. Someday I will once again sit at my desk with a blanket, slippers and hot cup of coffee at my elbow while I contemplate the mystery of words not yet written.
But not for 6 more days.
Six. More. Days.
I can’t believe I made it this far on the juice fast. It has been a wild ride. Somewhere along the way I realized it had become my god, because it was the only thing I really thought about and I talked about it constantly. Then I realized this was the case only because food had become a god to me. Whoa. Talk about revelation.
Since then the cravings have gotten better, but I’m still struggling with the notion that I must never touch another Jack in the Box taco ever again. I will never again be able to curl up in bed with Taco Bell and watch Netflix to soothe the troubles of a rough day, nor will I ever again rush through a McDonald’s drive through on my way home from whatever activity kept me away from my kitchen (and the veggies) for too long.
This stuff is like heroin to me. It’s an addiction and all triggers are off limits. Period.
But my new hobby has been finding vegan recipes that I can’t wait to try. This Vegan Crustless Veggie Quiche is my favorite. I used to make mini quiches in my pre-vegan days, and they were AWESOME. I was actually considering becoming an egg eating vegan, just because I love eggs soooo much, particularly my mini quiches. So I was thrilled to find this vegan alternative.
Other than that things are going well. I’m experiencing a lot of emotional issues as a result of the fast. This is good, just a result of my body releasing all the toxic stuff it’s been holding onto for way too long (it’s not just physical toxins that get stuck). A few days ago at work I started crying for no reason whatsoever. I’ve been taking up offenses and having to filter insecure thoughts that seem to pop up with barely any provocation. But I’m getting through it and choosing to view this as confirmation of how far I’ve come in life. This is the old me leaking out, but the new me is stronger and will overcome.
As for the weight loss, I am thrilled beyond comprehension to say that I have lost about 20 pounds. I don’t know for sure because I didn’t weigh myself at the beginning (I was afraid ). But I can guess within about 3-5 pounds based on how I was fitting into my clothes. Now I’m about 10 pounds away from where I want to be. Granted, I will gain a few pounds when I start eating normally again, but I am going to do everything I can to limit the post-fast weight gain as much as possible.
This means coming off the fast reeeaaaallllly slowly. And this, friends, will be the true test. Can I really settle for celery sticks, apples, and smoothies after a whole month of not getting to eat anything? Well, I can, but I don’t want to. What I want is to binge on all the food I’ve been dreaming about for the past 24 days.
But that kind of behavior is what got me into this mess.
And last night I attended my daughter’s school dance where everyone around me was eating pizza. And I was tempted, but I resisted. So I CAN do this!
I think that is my favorite part of this whole thing: realizing that I conquered something that has been such a struggle for me in the past. I won’t kid myself and say that 30 days is enough to undo a lifetime of bad habits, but it is a start and the proof that I can do it is the encouragement I needed for lifelong change.
And getting to retire my fat pants feels so much better than biting into a piece of pepperoni pizza.