I just want to start out by saying that discouragement is a horrible shackle. It chafes. The chain is short. The key is within reach, but most of us get so used to the bondage we no longer recognize the need for the key. I’m not prepared to do a full blog post on this topic, but perhaps I will at a later time, because it is SO important. I’m three days into my juice fast and the one thing that has come to mind the most is how often I put myself down. Fasting makes you super aware of your physical body and your emotions, as well as the triggers that float all around you just waiting to pounce.
I walk by a box of chocolates in my office and I hear a voice say: “You might as well eat one. You’re gonna give in anyway. There is no way you can make it 30 days without food.”
I took a walk to a juice bar today at lunch and passed by Jimmy Johns (they make a mean veggie sub, but with white bread and mayo) and I hear: “You’re tempted, aren’t you? No wonder you’re fat. You can’t resist stuff like that, so even if you do make it to Day 30 you’re just gonna eat crap again and gain all that weight back.”
And let’s not even talk about the thoughts screaming through my head when I catch my reflection in a glass window or mirror.
Today I choose to instead listen to the voice that tells me I am loved by the heavenly Father who created me to be exactly as I am. He created me, and you, with a purpose. Cellulite and all. Newsflash: God CAN use you even if you have cellulite!
I often question why a loving God would give me this slow metabolism, and then add on a hormone imbalance that makes it all so much worst. I don’t understand why he gave me the breast cancer gene, making me live in fear everyday, just wondering when it’s going to rare its ugly head. Couldn’t he have sifted that part out?
But then I remember that he also gave me the tools I need to combat the cancer, and the hormone imbalance, and the slow metabolism. Nature’s bounty is full of free and plentiful “medicine” to combat the toxins and chemicals in processed food. And he gave me the Holy Spirit to help me resist temptation to indulge in all that processed stuff. He never said it would be easy, and this juice fast is proving how hard it is, but the true revelation comes from realizing how much I need Him to get me through not only the fast, but to rededicate myself to a healthy lifestyle.
The chemicals in processed food act like a drug. We become addicted to them. So I’m in detox right now, and when I’m done I need to think of Taco Bell, McDonalds, pizza, and all the rest as heroin…just one hit and I’ll be spiraling down again.
I just can’t eat that stuff. At all. It is what it is. End of story.
So today I am making the conscious effort to turn the volume down on the negative thoughts inside my head. Instead, I turn my focus to the loving man that God brought into my life. He accepts me just as I am (my very own Mark Darcy *swoon*), yet he encourages me to be more, to do more, and to reach for the moon. And just as the moon reflects the sun’s light, my man reflects the love and acceptance of God. Is it even possible to not feel beautiful in the midst of all that?
And I’m going to stop putting down God’s creation. Would you tell an artist their painting sucked (to their face, at least)? Nope. Probably not. So don’t tell your Creator he did a bad job!
Have a great weekend my friends! I will probably not post updates for the next few days because my weekend is filled to the brim, but I’ll be back on Monday to let you know how I’m faring (and by then I’m sure I’ll be over these cravings and feeling awesome). Eat well and prosper 😉